Many things occur in human lives. But, whatever difficulties or sadness that we may have experienced, if we can look upon our lives as being rare and wondrous events, then we will truly have lived. If we are able to realize this realm of gratitude, in which we are able to live-and die-in gassho, then what else could we need?
Jitsuen Kakehashi, Bearer of the Light
We are in an unprecedented time. People my age, the so called baby boomers, have never faced anything like it. The “Greatest generation,” my parent’s age group faced it, with World War II and the incarceration of all Japanese on the West Coast of the U.S. My grandparents’ generation faced the depression, World War I and the flu pandemic of 1918. I have been thinking that maybe this is just the way life is meant to be. Each generation is forced to face a crisis that connects them to the rest of the World. We have just been spoiled children, living in a pampered world not sharing our toys with one another. With all our technological innovations can’t we understand that happiness does not come from who has the most toys, it comes from how we get to share the toys we have, with one another.
For most of my life, Spring was the time of year when I really appreciated the idea of transformation and impermanence in my life. This is one of the fundamental teachings of Buddhism. The Earth seemed to gently whisper in my ear to wake up and see true and real life. The Spring flowers bursting forth out of the fallen leaves of Autumn. Life being born out of the debris and silent death that winter brings. The green grass of Spring, seemed to sing and stretch forth from the yellow sod. The Earth understands that in life there is death and life again.
In my Dharma Talk the other day, I spoke of “Gaia” in Greek mythology she was the primordial Earth Mother. Even in our current time, some people refer to our Earth as Gaia. The Earth is a sentient being, much greater than we are, but with the one desire that connects all living things, “To live!” Gaia is hurt and has been injured by us, her children. With the seasonal change she was like my mother calling me in the mornings before school, “Jerry, it’s time to get up. Did you have a good sleep?” Now, Gaia is angry, like I was with my girls, getting ready to go to church on Sunday, “KACIE, TAYLOR, GET UP, WE ARE LATE!”
In this world we had lived in, speed and permanence were stressed. We tried to hold onto our youth, without gratitude for the knowledge age offers us. In our lives we are stressed out by the natural changes to our physical conditions. We want, fast food, fast internet, the faster the better. Doesn't going so fast, mean we just die sooner? Why are we going so fast? Shakyamuni Buddha proclaimed that birth, sickness, old age and death were the natural conditions of our lives. However, if we only focus and hold on to these four noble truths as problems, rather than natural occurrences and lessons, we may actually be wasting that which we are so fearful of losing, life itself! It is as though if we run, we won’t see the bad, scary parts. However, maybe Gaia is trying to wake us up to life itself, by having us slow down. In helping us, she is helping herself.
I have been trying to study Buddhism for many years, yet, I put myself beyond this truth. As I watch the blooming of Spring, I don’t really acknowledge the browning and hardening of my own core. I must force myself to look at the changes in my life. Where once there may have been a Spring, I am now facing the Autumn. In embracing this truth, I must acknowledge the changing world around me.
Critics of Buddhism often point to the first noble truth; “Life is suffering” as proof that our teachings are negative and pessimistic. This is an extremely shallow understanding of this truth. While this first truth points out the fact that in life there is suffering, the other three truths point out a way to alleviate these sufferings. To recognize the seeds of our suffering and to transform it into true and real life. In addition, the idea that life is suffering stems from a deeper existential dilemma; that for me to live, something else must die.
All of us would like to live a life without sickness. I believe this is an unattainable wish and there is so much we learn from our illnesses. As for old age, I find that as I grow older, I appreciate the fullness of what I am given, from the laughter of my children to the sound of my bones creaking in the morning as I awake. The creaks are telling may, we are still alive! After I turned 60, I really felt a contentment of life. For the first time, I began to understand what Haguri Sensei was saying in the quote I began with. This realm of gratitude is my life embraced in the Nembutsu. It is the impermanence of each moment in life, moving forward, that I am allowed to appreciate this life I have been given. Shakyamuni Buddha said, “Do not vainly lament, but wonder at the law of transiency...... Do not cherish the unworthy desire that the changeable might become unchanging.”
As a result of this dynamic life force, which the Greeks called Gaia, which I refer to as Amida Buddha’s call, I am allowed to appreciate my life. In Japanese there is a word “Shoji”. It consists of the characters for life and death. It expresses the knowledge that both are one. As something lives, it dies at the same time, moment after moment. Our life is Shoji.
During difficult times like these, I try to remember the joy of being the Father to Kacie and Taylor. It’s amazing that I live in a time when I can call them on my phone, although they are physically in California, I see them and talk with them as though we are next to each other. However, when I cannot be with them, I still think of them and wish for their wellbeing. Isn’t this how all parents are? Even our Mother Gaia? My favorite memory with my girls is playing bubbles with them in our backyard. We laughed and enjoyed the beauty of the bubbles. The bubbles, my children, both glowed in the light, as the bubbles flittered along the wind. Although I didn’t really see it, my children were also moving along the winds of time. The beauty of a bubble and this memory is in its fragile nature. Their glow is the embrace of light, laughter and time. Isn’t the beauty of our lives and this life force, in knowing that we are all impermanent? To live forever would only dull the beauty and sound. Our lives are transformed moment after moment, living and dying, always embraced in the compassion of Amida Buddha. Let us try not to hold onto that which cannot be held onto. Life and death are one. In this time of the Covid virus, as the Earth itself teaches us this lesson of birth and death, living and dying, let us remember we live in a realm of gratitude. We must open our eyes to the essential aspects of who and what we are. How we are all connected in this world. Just as we are connected in the life of Nembutsu, by the sound of Namo Amida Butsu.
~J.K. Hirano