Remember me
Though I have to say goodbye
Remember me
Don't let it make you cry
For ever if I'm far away
I hold you in my heart
I sing a secret song to you
Each night we are apart
Remember me
Though I have to travel far
Remember me
Each time you hear a sad guitar
Know that I'm with you
The only way that I can be
Until you're in my arms again
Remember me
Robert Lopez and Kristen Anderson-Lopez (Coco)

Obon is a generic term for the Buddhist service and dancing called Bon Odori. This Obon service and dance have been going on for some 500 years. I personally really like the Jodo Shinshu Hongwanji Ha (Nishi Hongwanji’s) the BCA term for this service “Kangi-E” this literally means Gathering of Joy. During this age of corona virus isolation and the black lives matter movement, we are facing an unprecedented time of suffering, isolation and death. However, it is also a time for our society to re-think the nature of our relationships with our fellow human beings. Although death and loss are happening on a daily basis, all around us, when we personally experience the death of a loved one. Our world is transformed; it is one of the most difficult of life's difficulties. In Buddhism it is called Aibetsu riku (Separation from loved ones).

When we lose a loved one, it feels as though a part of us has died with them. We are all interconnected, so when a loved one dies, a piece of us goes with them. It is more painful than I can describe. It is something that can only be experienced. Those who do not know what I am talking about are either ignorant or the luckiest people on earth. With the logic, a piece of me dies when my loved one dies, a piece of that loved one remains alive, as I live. Obon is a time to recognize our relationships with one another.

There are many legends, folktales, ghost stories connected to this Obon season. However, I believe the essence of Obon is about our relationships. The relationships between a Mother and son (as in Shakyamuni Buddha’s disciple Mokuren and his mother) the origin story of Obon and maybe more importantly the relationships of family members, friends, Sangha. So many people in Japan and even here in the United States often return to their hometowns for Obon dance and festival as a type of reunion.

It is a time to reflect upon our relationships between the living and the dead. In fact, the Disney movie Coco’s academy award winning song, “Remember me” may be my favorite song to remind me of the importance of Obon, but I have not seen a dance to this song, hopefully in the future someone may create one. I began this article with the lyrics from this song.

After some people may want to bring closure to the unpleasant experiences of life. I personally don't like this idea of bringing closure to unpleasant aspects of my life. I also don't believe Buddhism and psychology or psychotherapy are the same. The key difference is that Buddhism embraces those who don't fit into the norm, just as much as we embrace those that do, whereas Psychology and psychotherapy try to place us in the norm.

Sorry for the side note, for there is an important function to psychology and therapy, it's just not the same as Buddhism. Anyway, I don't want to close off the past. I don't want to put an end to the experience of the death of my friends and loved ones, I want to feel them in my life. I don't want to forget them and I don't think I will ever get over the pain of losing them. However, as I live with that knowledge, through time, I will learn from the pain and if I remain open, my awareness will allow me to see how they remain a part of my life. This is Obon!

I dance with the dead. They are not ephemeral spirits and globs of ectoplasm swirling about as I dance. My dead family and friends are with me every day, the Pure Land touches my life each and every day. I interact with the Pure Land and my dead loved ones through Namo Amida Butsu and they do not haunt me, they comfort me. As I interact with the world of the living, the dead interact along with me and I interact with them on a regular basis, Obon is just an opportunity for me once a year, to openly acknowledge, their place in my life.

In Salt Lake City, my Auntie Maxine Furubayashi was the Obon dance instructor for over 60 years. She taught our Obon dance until her death at the age of 95, three years ago. She began teaching the Bon odori when she returned from Japan after graduating from Kyoto Women’s College in Kyoto (This is our Nishi Hongwanji women’s college). She went there after graduating from High School in L.A. She was student when World War II broke out. She also survived the fire-bombing of Osaka, which some consider worse than the atomic bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. The stories she told were horrific. She had learned classical dance in L.A. and it is interesting that the dance instructor at my Ogden Buddhist Temple was a fellow dance student in Los Angeles, Mrs. Aiko Hamada, who was still teaching dance until last year.

As I have said, Obon is a time to reflect on our relationships to one another. Aiko and Auntie Maxine had known each other for close to 90 years. Now our Bon Odori in Salt Lake is taught by Sandy Iwasaki, Emily Iwasaki and Tracy Akimoto-Roberson. Sandy and Emily are my Auntie Maxine’s daughter and grand daughter, thus second and third generation Obon instructors. Tracy is the grand-daughter Rev. Shintatsu Sanada, the Kaikyoshi who built our current temple and was the minister when I was growing up here in Salt Lake. Rev. Sanada is also the Father of Mrs. Michiko Yukawa, wife of Rev. Kosho Yukawa. Our temples are all about the relationships we have with one another. Our temple’s and Sangha’s are all about relationships old and new. As Shakyamuni Buddha explained to his disciple Ananda, Buddhism is about the Sangha and relationships. This is Obon.

Our Obon is a wonderful community event. However, it is even more important that we understand the significance for Obon. It is not about dressing up Japanesey or playing up to our Japanese Buddhist heritage. It is not just for the young. It is not just for women. The old should have more dead to dance with then the young. Men have just as many dead friends as women. Do only Japanese die? No Obon is a time for all of us to dance with the dead. What a wonderful time to celebrate their continuing existence in our lives. As I dance, I can see my Auntie Maxine, my Mom, my Bachan, my dear friends, all continuing to embrace and support me, within the wondrous compassion of Namo Amida Butsu. Although because of the pandemic, we will not be holding our Obon Dance or Hatsubon services. We will be holding a virtual BCA Obon on August 15. You will find the links on the Buddhist Churches of America website. Before the virtual Obon, we will be posting videos to youtube “virtual bon dance” under “American Bon Consortium”. These videos will consist of a Dharma talk and videos of various dances that will be danced at the BCA Obon. Please don't hold back, join us, not the hundreds but the thousands, millions myriad of dancers, alive and dead. These lives all make us who we are. Let’s just Dance! Namo Amida Butsu.

~J.K. Hirano