Buddhist Valentine
Rev. J.K. Hirano
“Just as dawn is the forerunner and the first indication of the rising sun, so is Right View the forerunner and first indication of wholesome states.”
Sharon Salzberg
“Eightfold Path”
Right View
Right Thought
Right Speech
Right Conduct
Right Livelihood
Right Effort
Right Mindfulness
Right Meditation
I’m beginning this article with short quote by one of my favorite Buddhist writers, Sharon Salzberg. She is explaining why “Right View” is the first of the eightfold noble path. It is very important to understand this eightfold path, which is the fourth of the four noble truths. I originally thought that this eightfold path was usually just a random listing. I first learned of them at a YBA conference with the theme “VTSCLEMM” in Fresno, California in about 1973. However, in reading Sharon Salzberg, I realized how before we begin to study or practice any form of Buddhism, we must first have right view. One aspect of right view is to understand that Buddhism is trying to explain our life. Not any life, but our own being lived at this moment of our life. Buddhism has existed in various forms for over 2500 years. This is not just a chance occurrence. A key feature of Buddhism is that whatever culture the teachings has been introduced into, Buddhism has adapted to that culture. That is why there is a distinctive, Tibetan form, Chinese form, Korean form, Japanese form etc. I believe that one day, though not any time soon, there will be an American form. For an American form to come to fruition, we must also understand our very Christian American culture with a Buddhist lens. Holidays are a large of any culture and Valentine’s Day is one of those holidays.
I have written about the origins of Valentine’s Day in previous articles. It is based upon a Catholic Saint Valentine of Rome. He was executed (martyred) by the Romans in the third century for ministering to Christians. It is required within the Catholic church that a miracle must be attributed to a person that is sainted. In the case of Valentine, it was said that while in prison, he cured his jailer’s daughter of blindness. On the day of his execution, on his way to the gallows or whatever form it was, he left a note for this girl as a farewell, signing it “Your Valentine”. This was the origins of the Valentine’s Day cards.
For the most part, you can decidedly say, “Valentine’s Day is not Buddhist.” However, as most of you who are familiar with my writings could guess, I believe we can look at it as a very Buddhist holiday. Although, when we think of Valentine’s Day we think of romantic love. Love is usually categorized in the west into two types: Agape and Eros. Agape is an unselfish love and Eros is an egocentric form of love, driven by our instinctual urges for romance, sex, etc. Although some stories suggest Valentine of Rome had a romantic attraction to the jailer’s daughter, I believe it was more of an unselfish love that I would define as Agape. In my thinking this is very much like our Buddhist ideal of “Metta” which we usually translate as loving kindness.
On some Sundays we recite a shortened version of the Metta Sutra found in our service book, I like this version translated by Gil Fronsdal.
To reach the state of peace
One skilled in the good
Should be
Capable and upright,
Straightforward and easy to speak to,
Gentle and not proud,
Contented and easily supported,
Living lightly and with few duties,
Wise and with senses calmed,
Not arrogant and without greed for supporters,
And should not do the least thing that the wise would criticize.
[One should reflect:]
“May all be happy and secure;
May all beings be happy at heart.
All living beings, whether weak or strong,
Tall, large, medium, or short,
Tiny or big,
Seen or unseen,
Near or distant,
Born or to be born,
May they all be happy.
Let no one deceive another
Or despise anyone anywhere;
Let no one through anger or aversion
Wish for others to suffer.”
As a mother would risk her own life
To protect her child, her only child,
So toward all beings should one
Cultivate a boundless heart.
With loving-kindness for the whole world should one
Cultivate a boundless heart,
Above, below, and all around
Without obstruction, without hate and without ill-will.
Standing or walking, sitting or lying down,
Whenever one is awake,
May one stay with this recollection.
This is called a sublime abiding, here and now.
One who is virtuous, endowed with vision,
Not taken by views,
And having overcome all greed for sensual pleasure
Will not be reborn again.
This sutra is a wish, an aspiration that all beings be happy. I believe happiness is the basis for love of any type. I remember when I had my first crush in elementary school. Unlike Charlie Brown’s love for the little red-haired girl. I was in love with a little blonde-haired girl. I can assure you, there wasn’t anything eros about this crush. If she was absent from school, I remember hoping that she wasn’t sick or hurting and I would willingly take her place if she were. It was like this Metta Sutra, hoping that she was not suffering. It wasn’t until high school that I publicly faced my fear of girls and asked her to our senior prom. She accepted and we were friends ever since.
I think Buddhist love is a love that is not selfish. Valentine of Rome’s love for the jailer’s daughter was not a selfish love. Although, his feast day, which is the basis for our Valentine’s Day is now based in romantic love, a type of eros. Its origins were much more benign.
Our entire Mahayana tradition of Buddhism is based upon this ideal of Metta or the way of the Bodhisattvha. For those who do not know, a Bodhisattvha is a being who is willing to give up their own enlightenment for the sake of others and works in service until all beings are enlightened. Theravada Buddhism’s goal is to first awaken yourself and then you may help others. Mahayana’s goal is to work for the benefit of all, to reach the stage of the Bodhisattvha. That is the literal translation of the word Mahayana “Larger vehicle”, meaning a vehicle for all, not just one. I won’t get into the definitions and various explanations for what a Bodhisattvha is, but I would like to end with short verse called, This version is from Jack Cornfield, “The Way of the Bodhisattvha” originally by Shantideva, consider this my Buddhist Valentine to each of you.
Happy Valentines Day, Namo Amida Butsu.
May I be a guard for those who need protection
A guide for those on the path
A boat, a raft, a bridge for those who wish to cross the flood
May I be a lamp in the darkness
A resting place for the weary
A healing medicine for all who are sick
A vase of plenty, a tree of miracles
And for the boundless multitudes of living beings
May I bring sustenance and awakening
Enduring like the earth and sky
Until all beings are freed from sorrow
And all are awakened.