When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 1:13
The reason I love the holiday season is because it is about happiness and family. It is about love for all of humanity. However, I know that this year has been a difficult year for many people. It may be one that you wish never happened. Yes, this Thanksgiving was very different than most other Thanksgivings you have probably ever experienced. On the same vein, it’s the very same year that my eyes were opened to how much I have to be grateful for. This year, my family had a zoom get-together and one of the cousins said, “I’ve never been to a Thanksgiving that the Hiranos did not host! I mean that literally. For my entire life, Thanksgiving has been at their house.”
This brought back so many images and memories for me. The reason I have always had Thanksgiving at my house is because my Mom and Dad always had Thanksgiving at their house. So it only felt natural to host Thanksgiving at our house. Christmas was at Uncle Mas and Auntie Maxine’s house and New Year was at Bachan and Jichan’s (Grandma and Grandpa’s). The house I grew up in was a very small house. Thinking about it now, all of our houses were small, yet none of the cousins now live in a house that isn’t at least four maybe five times bigger than any of the houses my generation grew up in. How does a small house become a large spacious home? It just takes a little magic. That magic is love: when the hearts that live in a house are filled with love, that small house magically grows into a large and spacious home.
The house I grew up in had two small bedrooms and one small bathroom. There was a kitchen that barely fit a kitchen table and appliances. I remember we had to kind of squeeze into the chairs around the kitchen table. The living room wasn’t much bigger than the size of a door in a house. The reason I know this, is because on Thanksgiving, the table we six cousins sat around was actually a door that my Dad screwed four short table legs onto. We cousins -- Sandy, Glen, Mike, Scott, Joni and myself would sit on the floor around it. It may have been a rather tight squeeze because there was also a sofa and a T.V. in the room. I remember because we would watch the Wizard of Oz on Thanksgiving evening, squeezed around the table, eating our amazing Thanksgiving dinner. I can still see the door in my mind’s eye -- it was painted a baby blue. I realize now that the room was pretty small, but to a child, it was a banquet hall fit for a king.
On Christmas we would go to the Furubayashis. At their house, we would sit on fold up tables and the adults would sit in the kitchen. On New Year’s we would go to Bachan’s. It always amazed me how we all somehow fit into her house, with so much food, in a house smaller than the Furubayashis or ours. Bachan was an amazing cook and people would ask her to help make their Japanese New Year’s foods. She had a heart bursting with love for others, which she spread all around with her generous dishes. We would usually eat in three shifts. First shift was before lunch, when we would have our ozoni and first taste of the New Year feast. Bachan would have the food all set out. It was an amazing spread of American and Japanese foods. That’s where I learned to make my turkey dressing using tamales. There were all kinds of Japanese delicacies, from a big Tai (fish) to lobsters, tempura, sushi, kuro mame (black beans) etc., maybe a roast pork in addition to the ham and turkey, for guests not familiar with our Japanese foods. Then the family would leave to take a nap. During that time, Bachan and Jichan’s friends would come over. Some of the rich white people Bachan worked for as a house keeper would also come to her house at this time. At around 4 or 5, the family would get back together and the whole spread of food would be set again. Yes, Bachan would usually make at least two of everything, including the turkeys and hams. I remember my Dad telling me that in the week before New Year’s Day, Bachan really didn’t sleep, because she needed to cook for about five other families besides our own. She used up about five gallons of soy sauce, fifty pounds of rice and twenty pounds of sugar. It was an amazing assortment of food.
This is one of the reasons I still love the holiday season. I wanted my children to experience some of the wonder and joy I felt during this time of year. It’s cliché, but yes, even though we didn’t have a lot of money, I don’t think any of us kids thought we were poor. The reason is because there was love that permeated all our homes. I remember on Christmas, my Dad would tell me, “You better not bring your toy to the Furubayashi’s house. It will probably get broken by the boys.” I know my Dad was just worried that my feelings would be hurt, and as I explained in other talks, I was a crybaby. However, concerning these toys, I knew even back then, I would rather play with the toy with my cousins than play alone by myself. If it broke, at least I had fun playing with Glenny, Mikey and Scotty. Even though their names didn’t really have “Ys” on the ends, that’s how we called them. Even as a child, somehow I knew that the most important thing wasn’t a material object, it was love. It is something we all long for. The COVID can be physically harmful, even fatal, but it should not kill love. Even if the body disappears, the love remains. Even if my toys were broken, love remained.
There are some people that still ask me if a Buddhist celebrates Christmas. I always have to explain, “This Buddhist does. When I was a child, if my Dad had said, “Buddhists don’t celebrate Christmas,” I would have had to tell him, “Well I guess I’m not Buddhist.” And you know, the older I get, the more I believe it. As I said at the start of this article, I realize this year is not the year that many of us wanted. We didn’t want the pandemic, we didn’t want the partisan fighting of the election. We didn’t want our friends and family to die from coronavirus or from any illness. However, I can say that this year has given me a lot of time to think about how much I miss my family and friends. It has given me a great deal of time to think about the meaning of my life and what it is about. I understand better what love means to me. This Christmas may also be a time when I don’t get to see my friends and family, but there will still be love.
The quote I began this month’s article with is one of the most famous passages in the Bible. I have used it during other talks. As I mentioned before, in some ways, this section “Corinthians” reminds me of our Jodo Shinshu classic Tannisho. In Tannisho, which some people translate as “A Record in Lament of Differences,” Yuien-bo, a disciple of Shinran Shonin, writes this work to correct some mistaken ideas people have about Shinran’s teachings. In Corinthians, Paul, who is a disciple of Jesus, writes to a group of people from Corinth about mistaken notions they might have of Jesus’ teaching.
One of the things that identify true wisdom for me is not the sectarian jargon we assign words and writings. It is in how the words ring true in my heart. I don’t care if this passage is from the Bible. These words ring true for me. Let me explain a part of this passage. Paul is saying that no matter how amazing or how rich or how great you are, if you do not have love, you have nothing. You can be the greatest Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, etc. but if you do not know or understand love, you are nothing. Faith and Hope are essential and important aspects of what it means to be human, but they are nothing without Love. When I was a child, I didn’t understand everything it took into making my world magical. Just like when I say, “this is a bad year,” I don’t understand what it is to be human. Paul is saying to give up these childish ways of thinking; that this is bad or that is good. In a Buddhist sense, we have been given life, we have been given great compassion (Buddha), we have been given wonderful teachings (Dharma) and friends and family (Sangha). We have to ask ourselves, if with all of this, we still do not know love, then what do we have? Whether or not December 25 is the birthday of Jesus Christ really doesn’t matter to me. Anyone who can inspire others to share these truths is someone I want to celebrate. So if Christians celebrate December 25 as Christmas, then I say, “Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas everyone!”
As always, the end of the year gives me the opportunity on behalf of Carmela, Kacie, Taylor, Koge, Musubi and Miso and myself, to thank all of you for giving me the support that allows me to better understand my life. My wish is to thank you and hope that you and your loved ones have a wonderful and safe holiday season, and above all else, Love.
If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.
For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 1:13
~J.K. Hirano